Thursday, 21 August 2014

It's going down...

I'm yelling Tinder!!! (I now present you with a challenge: listen to Ke$ha. And resist inserting Tinder where timber should be in the song. It's impossible. I found a parody called Tinder on YouTube but it was kind of horrible. Me belting it out in the car whilst demonstrating my sick car-dancing moves...well that's possibly just as horrible but waaaaaay more entertaining. No, there will not be a link to a video of that. I'm not that crazy.)

I downloaded Tinder. Again. For about the fourth time. So really, I've re-downloaded it. The original download occurred during a summer patio sesh at a local pub where I was celebrating finally being able to call myself an ICU nurse. It was entertaining...flicking left or right through a bevvy of apparently available single men, getting a little rush of excitement from matching with someone. Then that second of weakness I get when I consider online dating passed, and I decided that Tinder is just as bad as eHarmony or or any other number of dating sites. So I erased it.

Then I had another second of weakness. So I re-downloaded it. And erased it. And re-downloaded it. And erased it. And met an adorable couple who got together through Tinder (and watched that hilarious Conan clip) I had my second of weakness, but actually thought about online dating with a little more scrutiny. And re-downloaded Tinder.

I've decided that Tinder is the laziest, and purest, form of online dating. Allow myself to explain...myself. (How does anyone go through a day and not quote Austin Powers at some point?)

Tinder is lazy. You download the app, connect to your Facebook profile, and voila! Profile created. There are no questionnaires, no surveys, no agonizing over your profile and how to describe yourself (which, if you read my previous post, you know I haaaaaaaaate trying to do). And then all you have to do is flick your thumb right or Or dislike? So easy. Online dating (which seems almost a little lazy to begin with since you do it from the comfort of your home) for the lazy!

Tinder is also...the purest form of online dating. Let's face it. Before you read through the thousand-word essay someone has carefully crafted to describe themselves on eHarmony, you look at their picture. And you pass judgment. You decide whether or not you find the person attractive enough to plow through the rest of their profile, which may or may not add to that initial attraction. Maybe their witty profile is just not enough to make up for the fact that their one and only picture is of them kissing their biceps (or maybe that just adds to their perceived wit and you're down with machismo dudes). Perhaps they are excessively good looking and witty but dammit, there's Crocs in every picture! Let's face it - Crocs are a make-or-break thing. If that's the best pair of shoes you can find for introducing yourself to the online community, we are not meant to be together. So what's the difference between me judging your Crocs on Tinder versus the rest of the online dating venues? (Maybe it's because Tinder is supposed to be the straight version of Grindr and that lends it to having a less-than-favourable perception as a legitimate dating app...) Whether you want to admit it or not, you're going to judge anyone you meet, online or otherwise, by their appearance. When it comes to searching out a romantic relationship is there a point to pursuing someone if you're not physically attracted to them? No. So why not cut out all the mumbo jumbo and just look at someone and decide - swipe right? Or swipe left?

It's possible that I feel the need to justify my download of Tinder, because it was conceived as a hook-up app for straight people. Maybe I'm looking for love in all the wrong places (pretty much par for the course for me really). But after a few weeks of perusing the app and a few convos with potential suitors, I've decided that I like it. People are going to judge me the same way I'm judging them, and so be it. I'm not everyone's cup of tea (I'm kidding, of course I am! Who is actually going to swipe left when they see adorable little old me!? Again - where is that sarcasm font when you need it). If they see something they like, they'll swipe right. If I see the same potential, I'll swipe right too. And when they request a nudie pic and ask if I'm DTF tonight, I'll unmatch them. Or when their opening message is "sup babe." I'm a stickler for grammar. And proper spelling. And don't call me babe, we aren't dating and you've just ensured we will never have sex.

Also, I have more dates scheduled for one day due to Tinder than I have had in total for the past few months. So...there's that.


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