Wednesday, 3 December 2014

A little vino + a lonely April...

I got a bit drunk a couple of weeks ago on wine. You're shocked, I know. Wine!? April!? Nooooo...

Oh yes.

Me being tipsy from a few glasses of wine is not newsworthy in itself. That's just your typical evening sitting around a kitchen island with a good friend playing Cards Against Humanity (if you haven't played it yet...order it off Amazon here and play it, you will die laughing), discussing our love lives (in my case, the lack thereof), and laughing at Elf on the Shelf.

Me being tipsy on that particular night led to one of my classic moments of weakness and loneliness. Where, for a moment when I got home and crawled into bed, I succumbed and reconsidered online dating...again. And one thought crossed my mind. Why not?

I have spent the better part of the last four or five years pursuing relationships that were doomed from the beginning. And then I spent a lot of time complaining about being single, living in fear of being alone, and crying because I was repeatedly (apparently) getting my heart broken. Yet I kept going in these dead-end relationships. What did Albert Einstein say about insanity?

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

There you have it folks. I'm insane. I'm quite certain a number of my exes would completely agree with that conclusion.

Why have I been pursuing this insanity for so long? Why do I continually force things that are never going to work from the beginning? Why do I ignore those little nagging voices telling me to stop? Insert epiphany here. I do it - simultaneously - out of loneliness and self-preservation. I've been through enough bullshit and my heart has been sufficiently broken to make me leery (that's putting it mildly...my fear of opening up and letting someone in grows daily). But I'm also a social, affectionate person. I don't believe I'm programmed to be alone, though I do believe I'm completely fine on my own. So I meet someone, and despite warning flags/bells/whistles/shots, I dive in. And I push. And it inevitably ends; sometimes badly and other times amicably.

So then I considered online dating. Aside from a very brief stint on eHarmony about three years ago, I have only tried Tinder (which was obviously not a raging success but instead another source of procrastination and entertainment). I think I have exhausted every other avenue for dating. I've dated my friends' boyfriends' friends. I've dated my own friends. I've met people through my friends. I've met people in bars, on a resort in Mexico, on a winery in South Africa, and at a homestay in Bali. I've let a couple of my friends set me up. I've even let my mom orchestrate a date with her friend's son. So really, when you think about online dating...why not?

I'll keep you posted ;)

A

P.S. - I'm currently obsessed with T Swift. Tay Tay. Whatever you want to nickname her, I love her. And whilst writing this post I repeatedly listened to her new single. It seems appropriate.





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