Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Every Single Girl's Favourite Time of Year...

This past weekend I worked a string of night shifts that delivered a swift kick in the ass to my feelings of bangriness toward dating (bitter + angry = bangry, in case you forgot my brilliance in creating a new word). This is part of why I find my job amazing; nursing, if you let it, gives you a great perspective on life. So despite feeling exhausted, I was feeling pretty revived and grateful. And then I picked up an overtime night shift. And then I got completely exhausted, cranky, and really emotional. And then I remembered something...

...Valentine's Day is coming.

My plan, as far as the blog went, was to completely ignore V Day. I wasn't going to post a damn thing about it. Instead, I was going to post about the new book I'm reading, which claims it will turn me into an "ultra successful dating winner." Sounds almost as awful as V Day, doesn't it? (I decided on one of my night shifts that if I'm writing about dating I should do some research. It came recommended from a fellow single gal, and the name of the book, It's Just a F***ing Date was just too intriguing. I'm sure it'll snake its way into the blog soon. Click the title to check it out.)

I suppose, however, any dating blogger worth their salt has to address V Day. I can't very well just ignore the one day a year where love is supposed to be exalted and the world should be showered in candy and roses, can I?

Well, I could, but then I'd be missing out on sharing my oh-so-original hatred of this Hallmark holiday.

If I had my way, every V Day would be spent the way I spent it in 2012: on vacation with two of my most wonderful friends in Puerto Vallarta. I started the dreaded V Day by doing "fuck Valentine's Day" shots with a gentleman who had been dumped the day prior to he and his girlfriend leaving for said vacation destination. It was 9 am. The remainder of the day was spent downing piƱa coladas, being proposed to by a 20 year old rugby player with a ring made from a $1 bill, burying each other in the sand and pouring drinks down our throats, and really, just having fun. Granted, I became violently ill at supper time (I say food poisoning, but I mean, shots at 9 am may have been the culprit), but I would still rather be in Mexico hugging my porcelain prince rather than worrying about celebrating (or not) V Day.

I'm not alone in my dislike of V Day. I'm also aware that my views on V Day aren't particularly original. V Day is a massive commercially-hyped construct that society has welcomed with open arms. We all see the advertisements telling us (for the most part) that women should be showered with flowers, presents, wined and dined (and one would hope at least 69-ed) and made to feel extra-special on love day. I'm not sure if dudes get as much attention from the ad execs, but it's the same idea - men should receive a display of lingerie or some sort of special present (ladies, I'm quite certain a well-timed blow job would be just as good as a new watch, I've heard a lot of guys whine about not getting enough blow jobs). Basically, you should spend money on someone so they feel special.

Well, ok. Sometimes that's a great way to make a person feel loved (listen, I would NEVER say no to being gifted a great pair of shoes, so I don't have a leg to stand on in hating the commercialism of V Day). But something about the way V Day is presented makes me feel like people might think it's the only day you should celebrate how much you love/like/lust the person you're with. I don't want to be in a relationship where the only time my man friend shows me his feelings is the day a bunch of retail executives have decided to exploit those feelings to make a buck (add that to my ever growing list of requirements). For a relationship to work, shouldn't there be effort on both sides to express those feelings regularly? I mean, shouldn't we be made to feel special all year round? (Translation: shouldn't someone be buying me shoes and bringing me coffee at work on the regular? And then I suppose I should be going down on my man like there's no tomorrow...but alas, no man to go down on and I buy my own shoes.)

I'm laughing right now because I can't remember the last functional relationship I was in, so me having an opinion on how to maintain one is kind of hilarious.

Either way, I don't like V Day. I don't like having to watch commercial after commercial reminding me that it's coming, and I don't think people should focus all of their romantic energy on one single day. I would find a man just as romantic if he brought me coffee during a random night shift as I would if he orchestrated a grand gesture on V Day. I think when you look back, it's those little things that count, and for me they've always overshadowed any grand gestures in past relationships. I still have the blanket a long-ago ex gave me because he knew I got cold in my bedroom at night and wanted it to feel like he was giving me a hug; I know he did something amazing for my birthday that year, but truthfully, that blanket is all I remember.


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